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"In this new collection of essays that are mostly about the life part, the author writes about e-mail, parenthood, the mental scars that dodgeball can leave, and what she really should have done about a skunk before it thought it owned more of her house than she did. The shrewd insights about everyday escapades--both touching and humorous--are honest, entertaining, and about stuff that we all understand: life, kids, falling down, and the amazing thing...
2) Live Wire
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'Live Wire' is a sharp, funny, and honest collection of real-life stories from Kelly Ripa, showing the many dimensions and crackling wit of the beloved daytime talk show host.
Accelerated Reader
IL: MG - BL: 6 - AR Pts: 1
Description
In this splendid and playful volume, acclaimed poetry anthologist Paul B. Janeczko and Caldecott Honor illustrator Chris Raschka present lively examples of twenty-nine poetic forms, demonstrating not only the (sometimes bendable) rules of poetry, but also the spirit that brings these forms so wonderfully to life. Featuring formal poems, some familiar and some never before published, from the likes of Eleanor Farjeon (aubade), X.J. Kennedy (elegy),...
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The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR).
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully...
“Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”
Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully...
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"From New York Times bestselling author and star of 2 Dope Queens, Phoebe Robinson, comes a new, hilarious, and timely essay collection on gender, race, dating, and a world that seems to always be a self-starting Dumpster fire. Wouldn't it be great if life came with an instruction manual? Of course, but like access to Michael B. Jordan's house, none of us are getting any. Thankfully, Phoebe Robinson is ready to share everything she's experienced in...
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"Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe's iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have a large and passionate following. Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions. What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there was a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last? In...
8) Dad is fat
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"In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four year olds ("there is no difference...
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Accelerated Reader
IL: UG - BL: 8.3 - AR Pts: 4
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"This book discusses the history and current state of high-tech folding in the world of manufacturing and how it is informed by folding in the natural world. Readers meet the leading scientists and artists in the field, learn about the manufacturing applications of folding in aerospace and other fields, and where folding technology is going in the future"--
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As both a tomboy and a late bloomer, comedian Jessi Klein grew up feeling more like an outsider than a participant in the rites of modern femininity. Now Klein offers a funny yet poignant take on a variety of experiences along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man," attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between...
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Dunlop Fantasia has a passion for marketing, excellent ideas, hovercrafts and avoiding rehab. A dark, complicated family upbringing sets him on course for early divorce, a blunder with his father's mistress, making TV shows, the heartbreaking death of a manservant, pursuit of celebrity endorsements and winning respect for his growing advertising empire. Follow his satirical exploration of wealth, self-help advice, business success, gritty optimism...
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From comedian and writer (Parks and Recreation, Eastbound & Down) Harris Wittels comes a hysterical breakdown of boasts, brags, and self-adulation disguised as humble comments and complaints-based on his popular @humblebrag Twitter feed.
Something immediately annoyed Harris Wittels about Twitter. All of a sudden it was acceptable to brag, so long as those brags were ever-so-thinly disguised as transparent humility, such as:
"Just filed my taxes....
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Accelerated Reader
IL: UG - BL: 5.4 - AR Pts: 13
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"The compelling, inspiring, and comically sublime story of one man's coming-of-age, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed,"--Amazon.com.
Noah's path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother, at the time such a union was punishable by five years in prison. As he struggles to find himself in a...
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The Devil's Dictionary (1906) is a work of satire by Ambrose Bierce. Although he is commonly remembered for his chilling short stories on the experiences of Civil War soldiers, Bierce was recognized in his day as a leading journalist and humorist who spent decades ruffling feathers and drawing laughter with his witty opinion columns, poems, and definitions. Toward the end of his career, he decided to compile these satirical definitions into a book,...
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"Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic" is French philosopher Henri Bergson's treatise on laughter and the timeless role of comedy in human society. Originally published in three parts in French in 1900 and translated into English in 1924, Bergson makes three essential observations about laughter and comedy. First, that comedy is a necessary human behavior and acts as a sort of caricature or parody of essential human activities and behaviors....
16) Lipshtick
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Get comfy, pull up a pan of blondies, and settle in for some girlfriend talk. Get the lowdown on who's low and how's down, whose long-standing but unspoken conflict with her mother is contributing to her sexual repression, and whose boyfriend named his penis. A hysterical send-up of everyday life and love with lots of heart, Lipshtick is a quick fix, a good schmooze, a heartfelt sob or two.
It will take you on a trip through things universal to...
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"I'm still learning in my thirties what I wish I was taught at twelve-that what's actually normal and not worth hiding is who we become after childhood ..."Whether you had a hard time making friends outside of school, sat speechless as a stripper talked to you from the stage, or realized you're gay a little late in life, Cracks will help you take solace in the fact that you weren't the only one. As Melissa comes to terms with a new sense of self,...
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A quirky, nostalgic send-up to the Oregon Trail computer game, featuring snarky and hard-earned life lessons from the trail. Pack your wagons, find your ride-or-(literally) die friends, and roll up to Matt's General Store with a sack of cash-it's time to hit the Oregon Trail, twenty-first-century style! ...And Then You Die of Dysentery is the perfect send-up to the sometimes frustrating, always entertaining, and universally beloved Oregon Trail computer...
19) Observations
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Shall I compare thine ass to a bouncy house? Or how about the similarities between a dog chasing geese and getting' some? H.C. Blackburne is in the hizzy house, and he be royalty or some sheet like that. He isn't afraid to "go there" so he would make a perfect wingman in all your worldly trials and tribulations. Want to go after a larger lady. It's in there! How about wearing underwear that is too small for athletic support? It's in there! What about...
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"Who Cut The Cheese?" is the updated 2011 edition of the razor-sharp parody dedicated to the millions of readers who either enjoyed or suffered through the motivational bestseller "Who Moved My Cheese?(tm)" "Who Cut the Cheese?" is a parable in which four characters must find a way through a maze in their hunt for "Cheese." But this cheese is actually symbolic of the things that we all want out of life: success and self-confidence, a nice house, a...
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